I am not always a good Christian

I am not always a good Christian. It’s been quite some time since I attended in person church. I’ve stopped doing my Bible studies and I often forget to read my daily devotional.

I still pray. Daily. And I always recite the Lord’s Prayer in the evening. But I often find myself being the kind of Christian who asks god for his blessings, but won’t bend to his will or devote myself to his work.

Easter is a beautiful reminder of how god forgives our sins and has blessed us with the ability to start anew. We get the chance to be better Christians daily, because god has high hopes for us. Such high hopes that he allowed his son to die on the cross for our sins.

During the hubbub of our busy lives, it’s hard to remember what really matters. We forget that our relationship with god is GIVE and take. I know I often overlook gods callings because it’s not always concrete and I move on to something that’s in the here and now. Something I can see and touch. Something tangible. But gods will is often not tangible. We shy away from him because we cannot see him. We cannot feel him. And therefore, we give up on him.

But, because He has risen, I have an abundant number of opportunities to try and live through him. Luckily, there’s no 3 strike rule, and there’s no deadline for when you have to get your mess together.

Luckily, god still loves people like me, the ones who struggle with their faith.

But long as you believe, God is going to keep showing up for you, even if you never get it exactly right.

Easter is the ultimate proof that God never leaves us. I can only imagine how abandoned Jesus’ followers felt. Their savior was taken from them, not by Romans, but by God himself. But neither then, or now, did God forsake his people.

This has been a year of trials and tribulations for many. It’s hard to imagine how many people have wondered where God has been in all this. But it’s hard to see him, when you aren’t really looking.

I am taking this season of renewal to open my eyes more. I know my god would like to see me in church again. I know he would like to see me studying my scripture and devotions. I think more so, he would love to see me opening myself more to his will. Allowing myself to devote more of myself to the path he is ultimately pulling me towards, whatever that may be.

But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. Acts 20:24

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